Posted by: shannynmoore | April 24, 2009

Deep Throat, Steroids & Torture…

I grew up without a television and was convinced baseball was something that just happens on the radio. I’ll take a ballgame called on the radio over television any day. In the hands of an artist, you can smell the fresh cut grass and starched uniforms; radio is magic.

Why on Earth has Congress spent millions of dollars on the giant cavity search for steroids in baseball over the last several years? Seriously? Two wars, fraudulent elections, health care crisis, illegal wiretapping, Katrina, loose nukes…and we picked baseball? For twenty months, jacked up ball players were the priority. Over four hundred pages of findings…for what?

Who gives a shit!? I wonder what I’d get on my hotdog should I ever make it to a real ball park. I wonder how long my beer would stay cold.

So, you’re a die hard fan and want “organic baseball.” Solution? Make the National League the “Organic, Free-Range League”; no steroids, no Designated Hitter, and tofu dogs. Let the American League become the “Juiced, Super-Size-Your-Bat League”; mega steroids, they can keep the DH, and beer bongs. No interleague play until the Monsanto-Organic Valley World Series. Let the fans decide. Personally, I like homeruns.  But I LOVE low scoring pitching duels.

Don’t get me wrong…my favorite stories from my Pop, right after “then the bear attacked me!” were about his string of pitching no hitters.

How many hours did Congress preside over inquiries into steroid use in baseball? How many of those hours were we simultaneously waterboarding detainees?

President Bush said The use of performance-enhancing drugs like steroids in baseball, football, and other sports is dangerous, and it sends the wrong message — that there are shortcuts to accomplishment, and that performance is more important than character.” He also said, “We do not torture.”

In the final years of the Clinton Administration, we had a Paris Hilton-does-Macy’s moment; splurging over $40 million on Ken Star’s salacious porn gathering mission of the blue dresscapade. I forgave Bill Clinton when I found out Monica wore a size 14 GAP dress; imagine that; the President of the United States likes healthy girls who actually eat entrees! If you’re the leader of the “free” world, you should have an “assistant” to insure you never become so stressed out that you push the red button out of sexual frustration. What? Think about it!

Maybe if W had an intern, we’d have never gone into Iraq.

As I write this I am still thinking, WTF?

A Presidential BJ and an “enhanced” ball hitter get full blown multimillion dollar Congressional investigations. I know, they sound related.

War crimes…well, hmmm…. we need to think about that! Why is this hard?

A-Rod, I am sorry. Bill, I am so sorry. You were a matter of national security, apparently.

Dick, as in Cheney, no worries, baby. You kept us safe. Thanks.

Now, would someone please waterboard Sean Hannity so I can feel better about the lack of Constitutional Crisis Concern? Please?

http://www.waterboardseanhannityforcharity.com


Responses

  1. I’d be willing to waterboard sean Hannity (just for the fun of it), but I think I’d have to wait in a long queue of volunteers.

  2. I would camp overnight in sub zero weather just for the chance to buy a lottery ticket to waterboard that sonofabitch Sean Hannity.

    AND…I would use toilet water and toiletboard him 183 times in a month.

  3. I would “bet the rent” that you could find folks willing to pay $1,000 per second to DO the waterboarding of Sean Hannity.

    Keith Olberman says he will pay $1,000 for every second Hannity endures waterboarding and give proceeds to charity.

  4. You’re either for torture or you’re against it. I get that making jokes about waterboarding Hannity is supposed to be funny, but it’s not. This kind of talking does nothing for those who are serious about prosecuting war crimes.

  5. I say waterboard Dick Cheney. Ideally, he’ll confess to the myriad Bushco crimes lickety-split, but at a MINIMUM we’d get to enjoy the spectacle of him explaining why he was screaming for them to stop NOT-torturing him.

  6. ziggybutterfly…LIGHTEN UP!

    I could not disagree with you more! That we even have to practically BEG to have fucking prosecutions for war crimes is BULLSHIT!

    I, personally, NEED a little levity with such a dark and deeply disturbing subject. Thankfully, there is levity on this blog. I am against torture. With every fiber of my fucking being.

    I cannot believe the national and local dialogue-that we are weighing; whether or not there is the will or that Obama can multi-task considering all that is going on in the world.

    That’s more BULLSHIT! Obama doesn’t have to deal with the economy AND fight the war AND deal with war crimes…that’s the job of the economic advisors, the DOD, and the DOJ…

    That cable news talking heads are even debating what constitutes torture and whether or not it’s a war crime is again…BULLSHIT!!!

    So…if Shannyn, or commenters, make light of dark and an untenable BULLSHIT situation….LIGHTEN UP and LET THEM!

  7. Seems like somebody needs some coconut lotion😉

  8. I will not argue baseball on radio, in the right hands, is art, but watching baseball on a black and white TV with the game called by Pee Wee Reese and Dizzy Dean was pretty much watching the game on radio if you know what I mean.

    Why Congress is so willingly to spend time tilting windmills baffled me until I realized those are the times when the lobbyists must be out of money.

    The poor bastards don’t know what else to do to fill their time between recesses so they concentrate on what we men like most: sex and sports.

  9. I would luv for Hannity to get water-boarded ..the EXACT way they were doing it to the prisoners! Maybe that’ll shut his pie hole. Let’s cross our fingers and hope they don’t do it ‘wrong’.

  10. Maybe ppl who disagree with this subject should watch Hannity commenting on it again…HE is the one who was making light!!!

  11. I have 2 favorite teams: St Louis Cardinals, and WHOEVER is playing the Cubs! 🙂

    Bill Clinton: I never cared who he was or was NOT getting BJs from. Was that really worth all the money wasted on investigations? I think NOT!

    Hannity is just another nitwit wingnut.

  12. It is sooo reassuring that our president was so concerned about steroid use among baseball players while he was torturing others. I wonder how many terrorists he created with his ill begotten war. How many people have we killed because a few individuals killed our citizens?

    We now have the capability to right a wrong. I hope we are smart enough to realize this and do the right thing.

    You need to go to Fenway Park in Boston to be part of a GAME. I was the for the No Hitter last year by John Lester.
    The joy, the emotion and the sheer happiness for him and the team was unbelievable. The fans are incredible, super nice and polite.
    Even on the subway home the, excitement was contagious. Wat fun we had that night !

    • I agree. I consider Bush/Chaney/et all the MOST dangerous terrorists in recent history.

  13. Ziggybutterfly:
    May I point out that Sean Hannity volunteered to be waterboarded.

    For charity.

    I doubt he’ll carry through with it, though. He’s a gutless douchenozzle.

  14. I have developed a simple political philosophy over time. It has never failed me in choosing a candidate to support in any election.

    “Democrats tend to screw around on their wives. Republicans screw the rest of us”

  15. This is a great thing to discuss. Often people even don`t even think about things like that! Great article!

  16. May I add to your political philosophy?
    Conservatives screw everybody else…literally! Scandals all over the map – just my opinion!

  17. It’s much easier to chase after a few needles in baseball, than to expose the prostitution and corruption members of congress practice each day.

  18. Just calling it like I see it. Making light of torture doesn’t take it’s dark power away. It’s just creepy.

    Sorry to be a party pooper, carry on then. I’m out.


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