Posted by: shannynmoore | March 3, 2010

“Quitting For Dummies!” By Sarah Palin

Publisher HarperCollins has announced Palin’s next venture in book makin’.  According to them, she is working on a “celebration of American virtues and strengths.”

Good Lord, are they joking? No. What’s next in the series? “Cooking for Cannibals” and “Dating for Rapists”?

Virtues and strength are easy to admire. If Sarah is writing a “do as I say and not as I do” it may be worth a read.  The publisher noted, “She will also draw from her personal experience to amplify these timely — and timeless– themes.”   If this literary adventure is about her life experience, here are some chapter titles I might suggest:

Chapter One: The Virtue of having the State of Alaska pay you to sleep in your own bed, pay for the travel of your children and install your tanning bed.

Chapter Two: The Strength of a family who breaks the law to bully a former brother-in-law. Flex, flex.

Chapter Three: The Virtue of being the victim of David Letterman then appearing with Jay Leno after he joked about John Edwards knocking up your daughter.

Chapter Four: The Strength of controlling your girlie bits to keep a pre-mature, special needs baby tucked inside on a 3,047 mile flight. (BTW, New York to L.A. is 2,443 miles.)  Then blaming the geographical challenges of being born in Texas having an adverse effect on your fish picking abilities.

Chapter Five: The Virtue of not paying taxes on your “cabins”.

Chapter Six: The Strength of standing up to Alaskan fishermen in your own family by becoming an “accidental”  campaign spokesperson for the dreaded Pebble Mine.

Chapter Seven: The Virtue of saying Obama was “pallin’ around with terrorists” when as governor she had allocated funds to hire G. Gordon Liddy to be the “open the ANWR” spokesperson.

Chapter Eight: The Strength of saying you won’t “sit down and shut up” and then telling your critics “to sit down and shut up” ON THE FOURTH OF JULY…oh, that was me.

Chapter Nine: The Virtue of quitting your job and making a pile of money for yourself and calling it “for the good of all Alaska”.

Chapter Ten: The Strength of defending your children while using them as props as proof of your ideology.

Chapter Eleven: The Virtue of asking for Rahm Emanuel’s firing for using the “R” word, but calling Rush Limbaugh’s use “satire”…over forty times in one broadcast.

Chapter Twelve: The Virtue of LYING to the American people about the dangers of “Death Panels” in federal health care when your own grandchild is a beneficiary of Indian Health Services/Alaska Native Health.

Oh…I’m just getting started, how many volumes did she sign for?


Responses

  1. Ah, another 1 edition to repeatedly fall off the shelf at my bookstore the “Bumped Corner”. Sweet…

  2. Good one Shannyn!!! Funny thing, I was at a conference on the west coast last week and met a couple of people from AK who apologized to me for unleashing Palin on the lower 48. I was feeling magnanimous and told them we understood and there was no blame. Well, I am taking that back. You in AK must expose her and take her back. Impound her in her compound or whatever it is she lives in… seriously. I know you don’t want to claim her, but this is getting out of hand. Holy crap Batman… Has everyone lost their minds? Another book? NOOOOOOOO! Make it go away! With sincere thanks, speaking for the entire lower 48.

    • She was born in Idaho (Nigeria?) Let’s send her back there!

    • Cool off, book writing is this county’s most precious value, it is called the 1st Amendment. And in this country we have freedoms, to read what we want!

      • And we in this country have the right to speak out against what we want or against what we don’t like. Some people don’t hang on every word that falls out of Bailin’ Palins pie hole, some do. I am not one that does.

        • We also have the freedom of calling out a LIAR when she lies!
          (which is all the time).
          Isn’t that what $$arah says the soldiers are fighting for?

      • But Sam…

        s’error palin did not write that last book and she will not write the next book. The publishing company is just using her name to sell product. And she gets to cash the check. That’s all it is. She’s not even a proxy.

        And she’ll not read the book either.

      • And we (the public) have the right to call BS when we see it. Any ‘story’ Palin pens about ‘truth’ or doing the right thing, should be classified fiction.

  3. Ah great, another of her titles that will continually drop from the shelf at my bookstore ‘The Bumped Corner’. Sweet…

  4. I’m not at all surprised. Harper Collins sees an opportunity to make money, so they’ll go for it. Remember, that Left Behind series sold millions of copies, so there’s no limit to what people will spend their money on.

  5. Let the hurling contest begin……

  6. I really feel so sorry for Piper and Trig!

    • Piper has become a replica of her mother.If you look at her and listen to the child Palin has brainwash the child completely JMO

  7. Too funny Shannyn,
    this is the best laugh I had all day.
    When I come to your blog, I know
    I am not alone.
    I am sick of Sarah.

  8. Thank you for yet another great post! What fun! I am going to think on those chapters and see if I can find Great Quotes to go with.

  9. Chapter 7: How to pass off a kid as your own!

    • 🙂

  10. My fav is the “girlie bits” chapter four. May the book (and the Palin) phenom end there.

    For your round 2, Shannyn, pls include a chapter on the Virtue of Abstinence.

  11. There has to be a chapter about her ignoring the poverty in rural villages since they accept fuel oil from Hugo Chavez in the winter while she delivers food and probably bibles with Franklin Graham.

    • Don’t forget the cookies!

  12. Another chapter: The Virtue of Lying Your Ass Off

  13. Chapter about her doing new commercial for Iditirod with a shot of Toad’s snow machine with Mystik advertisements all over it. Who is Mystik you ask? Product of Hugo Chavez’s Citigo company. See Palingates for the whole story. Grifters will pal with anyone to get their cash.

    Great post Shannyn! Thanks!

  14. I bet the folks who write the “Dummies” books are thanking you for that idea. But really those busses dont come cheap and next book tour she could put the palinbots on the bus and they could come to where ever she is. They just need different clothes for each signing and it’s a canned crowd! I hope Harper has learned to use less scratchy paper for the next one. Sad to waste good paper. A chapter on the proper etiquette for throwing someone under the bus should be included, she seems a bit vague.

  15. She may have signed, but she ain’t doing the actual writing. Shame, imho. The person writing the fiction should get the paycheck, not s’error.

  16. How about a chapter on the ‘Virtuous Power of the Wink’. That this hateful one dimensional fraud can be regarded as a person of gravitas is more than just a little unsettling. She is surrounded by enablers with big bucks and no conscience. It is all about power and money.

    • yathink?

  17. No–please, not another book.!!!! (My son is a psych nurse and he is going to have to take me to work with him and leave me. Her antics drive me almost crazy.)

  18. Chapters still under consideration by the publisher:

    Grabbing Swag with an Entourage, How to Get all the Stuff

    Sarah the Environment’s Protectoress-The Reality Show

  19. how to sneer at skinny elite hollywood types right before you have tons of plastic surgery and drop weight like a crazy woman fueled by red bull and change your hairstyle three times a day.

    you can’t make crazy better than sarah palin.

    no siree………what a horse’s ass.

    • She does appear fixated on Hollywood, doesn’t she? She sure has an interest in getting attention so maybe her complaining about Hollywood is her subliminal jealousy rising to the surface… once the lights go off, she’s likely to have a britney spears moment in an effort to get them to come back on. Or maybe she’ll have a paris hilton moment and the rumored tape will suddenly appear.

      • I think her Paris Hilton moment was at the turkey farm.. Gawd, that was funny.

    • Equine’s everywhere are insulted!

  20. Huffingtonpost reports the Palin’s entourage wiped out an Oscar gift suite.
    1. why was she even given access?
    2. what a classless idiot

    • Uncouth anyone?

  21. O/T – Sarah, Willow, and their *entourage* of about 20 females all went shopping in L.A……..on someone else’s dime AGAIN…. does she have no shame?

    http://ca.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b169997_sarah_palin_grabby_entourage_like.html

    HuffPost also has it with lots of interesting comments.

    • Socialism in practice.

      We, the movie ticket purchasers, pay thru the nose to see Avatar or Lightening Thief to fund her shopping spree. Whatever happened to her theory that everyone pay their own freight? Ain’t life grand when a person benefits from the work and money of others?

    • Oh for god’s sake why do people continue to accommodate Granny Grifter? She has to have a special early two hour advance opening. That is total crap. It is bad enough that she grabs everything in sight but she has to bring 20+ people with her!! I am so effing bored with this imbecile!

  22. Not since Paris Hilton have we seen so many people tripping over themselves to make someone else rich. How can her ghostwriter feel proud to contribute to the farce that is Sarah Palin?

    My biggest hope is that this fraud dissolves from political discussions which may be happening, especially if her ‘reality show’ bears fruit. But I am now so disgusted with popular culture for making a star out of someone who has done nothing to earn it that I can’t stand it. Her daughter is famous for being a knocked up teen and she is famous for being an opportunist. Has the country really sunk so low that we can make these horrible lying manipulators millionaires? I guess it has.

    • Well, as I listen to mudflats from yesterday’s UAF tape, I’m forming an answer to that, Claudia. It may well be that once her butt really starts heading south, the male hormones will shut off and the rest of the human species will wake up to the fact that she really has nothing meaningful to offer on the political scene.

    • I would like to volunteer to be her ghostwriter. If they would promise, by written contract, to publish what “we” wrote, that is………….

      Then I’d go to Shanny, DemocraticUnderground, Mudflats, AlterNet, The HuffPo, and a few others for each chapter… using Shanny’s chapter ideas, of course.

      Could we not have a BALL?

  23. http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b169997_sarah_palin_grabby_entourage_like.html

    Sarah loading up on “free goodies” with grandson Tripp in tow….

    Oh Levi, I hope your lawyer will get footage and pictures of this for your custody hearing….

  24. What’s next for Sarah? A stint on Dancing with the Stars? Jersey Shore? Infomercials? Her picture on cereal boxes and canned goods?

    This woman has no boundaries or shame. Thank God she and McCain lost!

    • I believe it was on HuffPo that someone suggested she could sell mattresses in late-night commercials. I am not sure she could pull that off, though, as we already have one very weird mattress commercial:

  25. Just do not buy her book or watch her on TV or read anything about her and stop whining. If you really think about it the ones responsible for making her so popular are the bloggers from Alaska and the media for constantly bringing her up. If people from AK and beyond had not filed ethics complaint after ethics complaints for the most ridiculous thing, she would have finished her term as Governor, the AK people would have decided whether to vote for her or not and she would have gone on with her life. But NOOOO, they had to destroy her and all they accomplished was to make her stronger and more popular. If any of the aforementioned would not have happened, then maybe, maybe she would have sold 100,000 books instead of 2.5 million or so. So stop whining and look to the ones that made her popularity possible.

    • Jackie, you don’t really believe that, do you? Mrs. Palin was well enamored with herself and her fans during and after the presidential campaign/debacle. She’d never have gone away quietly. And just look at her now, frantically grabbing at every little slice of fanfare she can get, and wherever she can get it. Palin’s popularity is possible because there are lots of wild-eyed crazies out there who think she’s some kind of Joan of Arc! Meanwhile, stuff needed doing in AK that she had no time for, although she was elected to do it. Why blame those who called her out for shirking her rightful duties (which weren’t glamorous enough)?

    • Don’t think so she is no longer popular in her home state.Those people finially7 caught on

      • Jackie you seemed to have taken too large a gulp of the PALIN kool-aid! Ethics complaints goes with public office and anyone with any basic knowledge of the workings of politics knows this. Sarah couldn’t fake her way through a basic PolySci course let alone run the state of Alaska. As LA has stated, the down and dirty work that needed to be done here in Alaska just wasn’t glamorous enough for her. However, I will give her a small amount of credit for getting out there and using her shifty, underhanded, backstabbing, double-talking ways to make a few million dollars. If it were not for the fact that she’s now a public figure, I’m pretty sure the way she’s pimping herself & her family would be considered illegal.

  26. HEY Shannyn… AMAZING stuff as usual…

    I’m here in LA visiting for a couple of weeks and caught a story on the local (KTLA) news this morning..

    Sister golden-noose surprise while down here doing Leno was also shopping a REALITY SHOW for Wasilla.. NOW, I guess it’s official… Here’s more data..

    Sarah Palin Reality Show?
    Palin Shopping Alaska TV Docudrama

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/03/sarah-palin-reality-show_n_485055.html

    Get them camera and viewing stands ready for the next installment of “Wasillabillies” !!!

    This has GOT to be truly dreary news for you guys…

    • Not bad news, Winski. Especially not bad news if the IRS makes them pay taxes on the true value of what they (stole?) helped themselves to. …

  27. From andrewsullivan.com…..

    While Palin’s second book is already underway, her first one is still getting fact-checked. From the Iowa Independent:

    In her book, “Going Rogue,” Palin briefly discusses the visit to Cedar Rapids as follows: “… Jason, Jeannie and Bexie were there at one of our first campaign stops after the convention, a stop I’ll never forget. It was at a rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The town was a slice of Americana, with its quaint town square with mom-and-pop stores; red, white and blue bunting; moms and dads; kids in strollers; seniors; and people of every color. …”

    Except that “slice of America” was still recovering from the most devastating natural disaster in the state’s history. The Independent concludes:

    Sarah Palin’s description … can only be described as fiction. The campaign event was held at the airport, and there was no quaint town square with patriotic bunting in the wake of massive 2008 floods.

  28. Another chapter…denounce “socialist” governments and their dirty foreign oil while taking sponsorship money for Todd’s snowmachinin’…see Palingates and Mystik sponsorship…seems like Toad and Sarah have no problem accepting money from governments that don’t like us.

  29. Gem of a post Shannon!

    Another chapter: The Virtue of humility, asking the public to help pay $500K of your personal legal bills and the Strength to refuse to document/prove that you really owe that much.

  30. OT… BUT this is a GOOD Smackdown by George Clooney and E-Online. ( Swaggate is born ) It was on a Palingates Thread. Someone else posted it.
    George mocks her and E-Online challenges her at the end of the story. Something NEW as well. She had some WINE shipped back home…. hadn’t heard THAT part of it.
    Quote :
    “At the Publicists Guild Awards luncheon in L.A. this afternoon, George schlepped about 10 overflowing gift bags onstage while presenting his longtime flack Stan Rosenfeld with the Les Mason Award. Once at the mic, Clooney kindly apologized for his baggage, claiming he’d run into the former Alaskan governor in the gifting lounge.

    Sarah may need a drink after that jab. Well, she’s in luck!

    Turns out Palin wasn’t just interested in clothes and beauty products during her swag spree, but also asked that a box of Bota Box Wine be sent to her home in Alaska.”
    ( I hope Willow doesn’t find it ?)

    They end with this quote…. “This woman doesn’t still plan to run for political office again—does she?”

    http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b170433_sarah_palins_swaggate_sequel.html?sid=twitterfeed_topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=twitterfeed&utm_campaign=twitterfeed_topstories

  31. Shannyn,
    I was kind of hoping you would blog about anti gay Senator Roy Ashburn (R) of CA. who was pulled over the other night for DUI leaving a GAY BAR with an unknown male companion! Blood alcohol was .14
    He has voted against every piece of legislation to give equal rights and protection to gays and lesbians, siting “Family Values”.
    Did I mention it was a GAY BAR he was leaving, with a male companion? Did I also mention he’s married with 4 children?
    I really would like to see you cover this yet another hypocritical Republican voting to take away the rights of a minority while living a double life…..

  32. Shannyn, always enjoy your posts.

    You really need to write the Cliff Notes for Going Rogue so that Palin’s followers will be able to read the message. Most of them will follow in Sarah’s footsteps and quit half way through her book Going Rouge.

    Another book you might want to think about is 101 Uses for the book Going Rogue.

  33. Chapter Thirteen: The Virtue of creating a facade of charitable giving by claiming to donate the $150,000 wardrobe paid for by the RNC to charity, then showing up in public less than 2 years later wearing the clothes.

    *~*~*

    At least one of the jackets bought for Sarah Palin by the RNC during the 2008 election campaign was NOT donated to charity.

    She wore it this weekend in Calgary:

    http://governorpalin4president.blogspot.com/2010/03/palin-hits-global-warming-wisdom-of.html

    http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/Calgary+crowd+receptive+Palin/2650514/story.html

    Remember that jacket?

    It seems that when it comes to charity, Ms. Palin claims to contribute more than she actually does.

    Another case in point…

    “The press release for the suite states Palin gave over $1,700 dollars to the Red Cross and planned to donate what she received at the suite to charity.

    Oh, really?

    Too fab she gave money, but we can assure you she did not give up any of her swag.”

    http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b169997_sarah_palin_grabby_entourage_like.html#ixzz0hbrEF3MV

  34. Yet another chapter unfolds: How to keep US health-care costs low by sneaking across the border and stealing health care from Canada. It figures that this story breaks on a day when I’m off work and can’t listen to your show. 🙂

  35. Still at it.

  36. How ’bout putting your post in the form of a petition on your website and sending it to Discovery Channel with the promise that signers will boycott any and all sponsors of her program. Enough of this dishonest, lying bloodsucker is enough!!!


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